GASP: CHICAGO POLICE DEPARTMENT'S BOLD AND CREATIVE SOLUTION TO GANG SHOOTINGS OF INNOCENT BYSTANDERS.

(​Chicago, Illinois:
With increasing numbers of people being shot each week as the weather warms up in the Windy City, something had to be done.  It’s bad enough that street hoods, punks, thugs, pimps, home invaders and drug dealers mow each other down by the score.   But far too many innocent people are getting caught in a hail of bullets from drive by shootings and in the cross fire of rival gangs.  No one seems to even care or quarrel about who killed who.  Since Chicago already has among the strictest gun control laws in the country to little or no effect, the Superintendent of the Chicago Police Department, Eddie T. Johnson, has concluded that desperate times call for desperate measures.
 
Since the gang banger’s desire to kill each other will most likely continue unabated, Johnson figures why not reduce the collateral damage of innocent people getting shot by helping the gang members to be better shots?  Thus, the establishment of the Gang Accuracy Shooting Program (GASP) was born.  Perhaps the warring factions can become gangs that can shoot straight.  Skills such as proper gun handling, target recognition, recoil control, proper magazine loading, and drive by shooting accuracy (actual photo of drive-by shooting lesson) will be taught on the tax payers dime.  Johnson figures that the cost of the lessons will easily be covered by the savings incurred by less police investigating time for the added victims, time hunting for perps, police dog hunts, Cook County coroner’s labor, and the nuisance of traffic stalling, business interrupting, gun violence protests and funerals.  A huge added bonus would be a reduction in the time of having to suffer through endless, pedantic funeral service preaching by activists such as Pastor Fr. Michael Pfleger, the Rev. Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton.  I mean that alone is worth the reduction of the body count.
 
Be assured that there will still be the usual television network audacity to interview grieving family members within moments of the shootings.  Some viewers will still hang on every word when the reporters ask sobbing loved ones and friends how they feel about the loss of one of the victims.  There will be those hard-hearted arm chair critics that will judge the sincerity of the mourners and whether or not they are showing the level of grief that would seem to be appropriate.  But in all fairness, to the survivors, many have been through this tragedy more than once and have become more stoic than nonplussed.   There will still be the usual lack of witnesses with bystanders insisting that don’t know “nothing.” 
 
The police have already begun meeting with gang leaders in order to organize the classes with the assurance that the rival gangs will honor a cease fire while taking turns at the shooting ranges and hold their fire until their rivals are out of firearm range.  No spectators will be allowed to witness the target practice and there will be a strict, no trash talking or dissing policy in place.  Also, gang members under the age of ten may not participate unless accompanied by their biological father, which should pretty much exclude any of those youngsters.   
 
 
Law abiding citizens are very supportive of this new program and look forward to far fewer noncombatants being mowed down on the streets. But there is considerable concern among some neighborhood sceptics about the efficacy of the initiative.  Critics such as longtime resident, Hardy Boone, anticipate that some of the gangbangers will often cut the target practice classes in exchange for time on the basketball courts or engaging in more petty and mundane nonviolent crimes like muggings and purse snatching and the occasional but much more serious sexual assault, but what can you expect from a culture so steeped in tradition?  Boone is a practical man, and the at the relatively young age of 43, he’s the oldest living male in Englewood and is hopeful but not confident that the spraying of bullets will substantially subside.  But when confronted with neighborhood skepticism, Eddie Johnson reminded us that he is looking for progress, not perfection.   He is well aware that the body counts will remain sub-optimum and the optics often embarrassing to the city, but he knows that even if the target practice program saves only a few lives, it will be worth it.  Let’s face it, if you are standing on a street corner chatting with you friends and a speeding car full of angry gangbangers approaches, you might take some comfort that those blazing away at their intended target may have had some GASP training and be able to avoid hitting a friendly or at least only grazing them with a flesh wound.
 
 
 

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