(Chicago, Illinois: With increasing numbers of people being shot each week as the weather warms up in the Windy City, something had to be done. It’s bad enough that street hoods, punks, thugs, pimps, home invaders and drug dealers mow each other down by the score. But far too many innocent people are getting caught in a hail of bullets from drive by shootings and in the cross fire of rival gangs. No one seems to even care or quarrel about who killed who. Since Chicago already has among the strictest gun control laws in the country to little or no effect, the Superintendent of the Chicago Police Department, Eddie T. Johnson, has concluded that desperate times call for desperate measures. Since the gang banger’s desire to kill each other will most likely continue unabated, Johnson figures why not reduce the collateral damage of innocent people getting shot by helping the gang members to be better shots? Thus, the establishment of the Gang Accuracy Shooting Program (GASP) was born. Perhaps the warring factions can become gangs that can shoot straight. Skills such as proper gun handling, target recognition, recoil control, proper magazine loading, and drive by shooting accuracy (actual photo of drive-by shooting lesson) will be taught on the tax payers dime. Johnson figures that the cost of the lessons will easily be covered by the savings incurred by less police investigating time for the added victims, time hunting for perps, police dog hunts, Cook County coroner’s labor, and the nuisance of traffic stalling, business interrupting, gun violence protests and funerals. A huge added bonus would be a reduction in the time of having to suffer through endless, pedantic funeral service preaching by activists such as Pastor Fr. Michael Pfleger, the Rev. Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton. I mean that alone is worth the reduction of the body count. Be assured that there will still be the usual television network audacity to interview grieving family members within moments of the shootings. Some viewers will still hang on every word when the reporters ask sobbing loved ones and friends how they feel about the loss of one of the victims. There will be those hard-hearted arm chair critics that will judge the sincerity of the mourners and whether or not they are showing the level of grief that would seem to be appropriate. But in all fairness, to the survivors, many have been through this tragedy more than once and have become more stoic than nonplussed. There will still be the usual lack of witnesses with bystanders insisting that don’t know “nothing.” The police have already begun meeting with gang leaders in order to organize the classes with the assurance that the rival gangs will honor a cease fire while taking turns at the shooting ranges and hold their fire until their rivals are out of firearm range. No spectators will be allowed to witness the target practice and there will be a strict, no trash talking or dissing policy in place. Also, gang members under the age of ten may not participate unless accompanied by their biological father, which should pretty much exclude any of those youngsters. Law abiding citizens are very supportive of this new program and look forward to far fewer noncombatants being mowed down on the streets. But there is considerable concern among some neighborhood sceptics about the efficacy of the initiative. Critics such as longtime resident, Hardy Boone, anticipate that some of the gangbangers will often cut the target practice classes in exchange for time on the basketball courts or engaging in more petty and mundane nonviolent crimes like muggings and purse snatching and the occasional but much more serious sexual assault, but what can you expect from a culture so steeped in tradition? Boone is a practical man, and the at the relatively young age of 43, he’s the oldest living male in Englewood and is hopeful but not confident that the spraying of bullets will substantially subside. But when confronted with neighborhood skepticism, Eddie Johnson reminded us that he is looking for progress, not perfection. He is well aware that the body counts will remain sub-optimum and the optics often embarrassing to the city, but he knows that even if the target practice program saves only a few lives, it will be worth it. Let’s face it, if you are standing on a street corner chatting with you friends and a speeding car full of angry gangbangers approaches, you might take some comfort that those blazing away at their intended target may have had some GASP training and be able to avoid hitting a friendly or at least only grazing them with a flesh wound.
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BREAKING NEWS:
ACCORDING TO UPSTATE NEW YORK’S, GOREFALL EXAMINER, ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ IS IN THE CENTER OF A COLLEGE ADMISSION SCANDAL FOR ACCEPTING A $15 MILLION “INCENTIVE” TO DENY EVER ATTENDING BOSTON UNIVERSITY! DUE TO HER ENDLESS STREAM OF STUPID AND EMBARRASSING, COMMENTS, STATEMENTS, INTERVIEWS AND IDEAS, AN ANONYMOUS INSIDE B.U. SOURCE HAS SPILLED THE BEANS. UBER WEALTHY B.U. ALUMNI, SINGAPOREAN BUSINESSMAN, MANFRED KEWK, GAVE AN UNDER THE TABLE “GIFT” TO AOC IN EXCHANGE FOR HER NEVER ADMITTING ATTENDING BOSTON UNIVERSITY AND ALLOWING B.U. EXPUNGE ANY AND ALL EVIDENCE THAT SHE EVER ATTENDED THE SCHOOL. WHEN CORTEZ WAS ASKED FOR COMMENT ABOUT THE STORY, THE UNITED STATES CONGRESSWOMAN, RESPONDED IN HER TYPICAL CRYPTIC FASHION, "THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL LIKES TO TAKE A WALK IN THE PARK." DEVELOPING….. If communism founder, Vladimir Lenin was alive today he would most proud of his great grandson being swept to the nomination by the youth voters of the USA. After generations of brainwashing by leftist academia, Lenin's prediction that "Useful Idiots," Lenin's favorite term for American Liberals, would someday weaken and destroy America from within. Watching what is happening today, his prognostication is being fulfilled before our very eyes.
All I can say is repeat the words of Jesus Christ to ask our Holy Father to "Forgive them for they no not what they do." Today we are faced with the greatest enemy that we've ever encountered...OURSELVES!!! Our own ignorant, naive, and in many case stupid liberal youths will be our undoing. They will enable us to become the first superpower in history to be destroyed without our military being defeated. I hate to be a pessimist, but it has become painfully obvious to me, that the damage that 100 years of the communist-influenced education system is irreversible I believe that we have created a God-sized crisis, just at the same time that we are kicking Him out of as many parts of our society as possible. None the less, we believers that remain, must pray to the point of night sweats for God to intervene and rescue our country and with us, Western Civilization. I don't think that our salvation is impossible to achieve. St. Paul wrote in Hebrews 11:1, "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Let us all prostrate ourselves in prayer, that God will extract the deadly poison that Satan and his demon-minions like Lenin, George Soros, and countless others are spreading. Only God's mercy can save the USA, for we are the last and greatest hope for the survival of Western Civilization. Remember, without God, we can’t and without us, He won’t. |
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