The left has long had some kooky ideas. We’ve seen Play-Doh parties for grownups and soap bottles made to look like pear-shaped women. Their latest act of silliness? Some leftist hipsters in Brooklyn are marketing an Elizabeth Warren action figure. For realsies…
If you envision likely 2020 presidential candidate Sen. Elizabeth "Liawatha" Warren as a “defiant hero” fist-pumping for women and progressive power, then there is a Kickstarter campaign for you.
FCTRY, a Brooklyn-based design center, tells Secrets that they are using a Warren doll to raise money for her 2018 Senate reelection campaign via Kickstarter effort that begins June 6.
“On June 6th, we’re excited to be launching a new Kickstarter campaign for the Elizabeth Warren action figure,” Jason Feinberg, the CEO and creative director of FCTRY. he added, “Our mini-Warren is in full defiant hero mode, with an empowered fist raised in the air.”
What the heck, guys? There’s no tomahawk for cutting Republicans, Indian feather hat or Trump’s combover-ed scalp to be found. Do you even action figure, bro?
Sorry guys, but this toy is a dud. All I’m looking at is an elderly communist with aryan features in a pantsuit. That’s not to say there isn’t an excellent product hiding in there somewhere. Allow me to give you my concept for the ultimate Fauxcahontas action figure. Here goes nothing…
“They tried to brush her off. They tried to keep her down. Nevertheless, she persisted. Look out girls and non-binary genderqueers. It’s a bird…It’s a plane…It’s Elizabeth Warren! That’s right comrades. Every leftist’s favorite money-grabbing race fraud can now be yours in action figure form! She comes complete with tax-raising action, a buckskin pantsuit, and the bloodied scalps of Senate Republicans hanging from her neck. Push the button on her arrow quiver and she’ll shrilly scold you for not paying your fair share. It’s the hottest thing since Sharia Barbie. Do your part to combat the scourge that is American capitalism and buy it now!”
On a serious note, you know there’s desperation afoot when leftists are resorting to capitalism to push a socialist candidate.
Leftists, if your goal is to win elections, making sure your ideas are tip-top is the most important thing. Not immortalizing your faux-Indian princess in plastic for future lesbian feminist tykes to play with. Thanks to your boy Obama, people have gotten wise to the fact that Socialist policies don’t work. No matter how “democratic” such policies are. So perhaps ditch the hammer and sickle and you might hold on to a seat or two. You’re welcome.
Tomahawk Sold Separately…
COREY STALLINGS FRIDAY JUNE 2 2017
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