​​The Chicago Blackhawks public address announcer blares, "Kettle, One Minute to play." Oh, no, not another revenue-generating sponsorship has been slipped into the game experience with a premium vodka helping warn the fans that sixty seconds remaining in the period.  
Some consumer brand sponsors almost every aspect of the game. Corporate entities or other organizations regularly sponsor power plays and other in-game occurrences. But why not add more? What about Johnson and Johnson Bandages sponsoring ongoing injuries that draw blood?  
An orthopedic group can sponsor broken bones and shattered limbs. If  a player loses some teeth, the American Dental Association is perfect.  
On-ice fights could be sponsored by the World Boxing Association, or if a player is killed, it could be backed by a local funeral home chain. When players push, shove, and jaw at each other after a whistle, those dustups could be advocated by a local therapy center's anger management unit. Players caught committing an infraction and sent to the penalty box would be promoted by a law firm defense attorney. When a player breaks a stick, a local lumber yard would be perfect. Sometimes, players are ejected from the game for an egregious penalty. That would seem like a perfect spot for the United States Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agency (ICE) to reinforce the message. When head coverings rain down after a player scores a hat trick, an endorsement by Levine Hats would be perfect. When players collide or are checked heavily into the boards, Chicago's own Collision Barn would be quite a fit. Hooking penalties would be brought to us by a local escort service, while tripping infractions would be backed by cannabis giant Curaleaf. A player caught impaling an opponent with his stick would be a great opportunity for spear gun behemoth Spearitco. Timeouts, of course, would be perfect for Rolex.  
 
Just being able to hear which sponsor is being announced is a real challenge. During all stoppages of play, fans are bombarded with a constant barrage of invasive and damaging noise. Decibel levels associated with passenger jets assault your ear drums between whistles. Music that would repel Ozzy Osbourne is turned up to a volume that often causes ear bleeding. For fans to communicate with the person next to them, texting is the only option other than sign language and lip reading. I bought tickets for a hockey game, not a rock concert. I'd love for my kids to be able to hear me talk about watching Bobby Hull, Gordie Howe, Rocket Richard, and Jacques Plante or tell them that there is a piece of cheese-covered nacho stuck to their cheek. Oh, for the days when one had only the pastoral sounds from the stadium organ. And for God's sake, fans, please stop the whistling. It's so Canadian. Who are they playing that deafening music for? I have never once heard anyone ask for the sound to be turned louder or "I go to the games for the noise."  
 
And what about the constant barrage of so-called "entertainment" during times out and between periods? I mean, they must think we have the attention span of a five-year-old. One after another is a parade of contests and activities such as celebrity look alike, shell games, Kiss-Cam, guessing games, find Tommy Hawk in the crowd and a row versus row relay of a cardboard picture of a pizza.   This assault on the senses is so tiring that there should be, like in kindergarten, time for milk and cookies and a nap. Also, when was it okay to bring babies to a game? If the kid is still breastfeeding, I say leave him at home!
 
But all the annoyances during the game cannot be experienced without first being able to enter the arena. Getting into the building past the security personnel is like trying to go through a process that mirrors a TSA experience at an airport. One must pass through a metal detector while any potential triggering devices slide through an adjacent trough and undergo scrutiny by unpleasant people who act like they'd like to be anywhere else. All handbags are searched, and any larger than an iPad is rejected as being too big. Of course, we now live at a time when actual physical tickets made of paper are no longer accepted. So, having your ticket available via an iPhone is the only way to get in. God help you if you can't locate your e-tickets or the venue WIFI is balky. 
 
Once beyond security, one must navigate the crowded concourse. Contorting your body to slither through the fans is made more difficult by various obstacles such as performing musicians, shrill vendors, annoyingly oblivious iPhone selfie photo takers, and those meandering souls who have no idea where their seats are. It reminds me of the scene in the movie "Airplane" when Rex Kramer, the character played by Robert Stack, finally had enough and began to use martial arts to ward off the people in his way.
 
The adventure continues as one tries to take their seats. One must pass through an usher who inspects your tickets to see if you belong in them. Even though I have been in the same seats for twenty-five years, the rotating ushers are never the same, so they couldn't pick me out of a police lineup.
 
Once at the seats, one often finds people sitting in them who are not supposed to be there. Why they can't process the simple information on the ticket is beyond me. Of course, before sitting down, you brush off last night's popcorn kernels off the seat.
 
Once the game starts, you try to figure out which players are on the ice. Because of free agency's constant churning of the rosters, becoming familiar with your own team's players is a challenge, and pronouncing their names is often impossible. The NHL used to be entirely composed of pronounceable Canadians and Americans. Now, you have players from more than a dozen countries with sir names such as Tsyplakov, Achtymichuk, Vyazmikin, Afinogenov, and Balmochnykh. I remember the good old days when I struggled with names like LeFleur and Goyette.
 
I often feel more exhausted when I leave the games than some of the players. In fact, after the final horn, I half expect, like in the movie Gladiator, one of the players skates out to center ice and like Maximus Decimus Meridius shouts "Are you not entertained?"

​The City of Chicago is by proclamation, a sanctuary city for illegal aliens, but it is also has unofficially, long been a sanctuary city for thugs, gang bangers, street hoods, pimps, sexual assaulters, drug dealers, rapists, human traffickers, armed robbers and home invaders.  Despite that, its Mayor, Lori "Lightweight" Lightfoot, when not busy appearing at high profile social events, late night television and talk shows, is apparently more concerned about police officer conduct and the resources devoted to them, rather than the barbaric behavior of the criminals that they are trying to protect us from.  But I have an idea that can address both issues in one fell swoop.  PROVIDE FREE FIREARMS TO HE LAW ABIDING CITIZENS IN THE HIGHEST CRIME NEIGHBORHOODS!!!
Firstly, if liberals think that the cops are the main  problem, pull them out of the high crime neighborhoods and let the citizens apply street justice to the savages that afflict them.   Let them be armed to the teeth, and let those good guys fight back.  Other than the guns, it would be of no significant cost to the tax payers since the arms provided could be the ones confiscated from the gang bangers themselves.  This way, those barbarians will have to think twice about engaging in a drive by shooting when they have to consider that the people on the street corner might have more fire power than they.  Also, a very important byproduct would be the reduction of the number of officers shot in the line of duty.
Secondly, city finances would also be positively effected because with innocent citizens blazing away at the bad guys, the police could be redeployed to the rest of the city and there would be no need to hire more to shore up the overwhelmed ones patrolling neighborhoods like Englewood, for example.  It also would be more equitable, because inner city crime requires a disproportionate amount of police protection which seems in this day of fairness, well, unfair.  
So let's use the Second Amendment to our advantage, enable the law abiding citizens to rid themselves of the savage scum that torment them without even having to worry about being investigated by a no longer police presence.
I guess you'd have a wonderful, real life portrayal of the movie, The Purge.

(​Chicago, Illinois:
With increasing numbers of people being shot each week as the weather warms up in the Windy City, something had to be done.  It’s bad enough that street hoods, punks, thugs, pimps, home invaders and drug dealers mow each other down by the score.   But far too many innocent people are getting caught in a hail of bullets from drive by shootings and in the cross fire of rival gangs.  No one seems to even care or quarrel about who killed who.  Since Chicago already has among the strictest gun control laws in the country to little or no effect, the Superintendent of the Chicago Police Department, Eddie T. Johnson, has concluded that desperate times call for desperate measures.
 
Since the gang banger’s desire to kill each other will most likely continue unabated, Johnson figures why not reduce the collateral damage of innocent people getting shot by helping the gang members to be better shots?  Thus, the establishment of the Gang Accuracy Shooting Program (GASP) was born.  Perhaps the warring factions can become gangs that can shoot straight.  Skills such as proper gun handling, target recognition, recoil control, proper magazine loading, and drive by shooting accuracy (actual photo of drive-by shooting lesson) will be taught on the tax payers dime.  Johnson figures that the cost of the lessons will easily be covered by the savings incurred by less police investigating time for the added victims, time hunting for perps, police dog hunts, Cook County coroner’s labor, and the nuisance of traffic stalling, business interrupting, gun violence protests and funerals.  A huge added bonus would be a reduction in the time of having to suffer through endless, pedantic funeral service preaching by activists such as Pastor Fr. Michael Pfleger, the Rev. Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton.  I mean that alone is worth the reduction of the body count.
 
Be assured that there will still be the usual television network audacity to interview grieving family members within moments of the shootings.  Some viewers will still hang on every word when the reporters ask sobbing loved ones and friends how they feel about the loss of one of the victims.  There will be those hard-hearted arm chair critics that will judge the sincerity of the mourners and whether or not they are showing the level of grief that would seem to be appropriate.  But in all fairness, to the survivors, many have been through this tragedy more than once and have become more stoic than nonplussed.   There will still be the usual lack of witnesses with bystanders insisting that don’t know “nothing.” 
 
The police have already begun meeting with gang leaders in order to organize the classes with the assurance that the rival gangs will honor a cease fire while taking turns at the shooting ranges and hold their fire until their rivals are out of firearm range.  No spectators will be allowed to witness the target practice and there will be a strict, no trash talking or dissing policy in place.  Also, gang members under the age of ten may not participate unless accompanied by their biological father, which should pretty much exclude any of those youngsters.   
 
 
Law abiding citizens are very supportive of this new program and look forward to far fewer noncombatants being mowed down on the streets. But there is considerable concern among some neighborhood sceptics about the efficacy of the initiative.  Critics such as longtime resident, Hardy Boone, anticipate that some of the gangbangers will often cut the target practice classes in exchange for time on the basketball courts or engaging in more petty and mundane nonviolent crimes like muggings and purse snatching and the occasional but much more serious sexual assault, but what can you expect from a culture so steeped in tradition?  Boone is a practical man, and the at the relatively young age of 43, he’s the oldest living male in Englewood and is hopeful but not confident that the spraying of bullets will substantially subside.  But when confronted with neighborhood skepticism, Eddie Johnson reminded us that he is looking for progress, not perfection.   He is well aware that the body counts will remain sub-optimum and the optics often embarrassing to the city, but he knows that even if the target practice program saves only a few lives, it will be worth it.  Let’s face it, if you are standing on a street corner chatting with you friends and a speeding car full of angry gangbangers approaches, you might take some comfort that those blazing away at their intended target may have had some GASP training and be able to avoid hitting a friendly or at least only grazing them with a flesh wound.
 
 
 

​BREAKING NEWS:  

ACCORDING TO UPSTATE NEW YORK’S, GOREFALL EXAMINER, ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ IS IN THE CENTER OF A COLLEGE ADMISSION SCANDAL FOR ACCEPTING A $15 MILLION “INCENTIVE” TO DENY EVER ATTENDING BOSTON UNIVERSITY!  

DUE TO HER ENDLESS STREAM OF STUPID AND EMBARRASSING, COMMENTS, STATEMENTS, INTERVIEWS AND IDEAS, AN ANONYMOUS INSIDE B.U. SOURCE HAS SPILLED THE BEANS.  UBER WEALTHY B.U. ALUMNI, SINGAPOREAN BUSINESSMAN, MANFRED KEWK, GAVE AN UNDER THE TABLE “GIFT” TO AOC IN EXCHANGE FOR HER NEVER ADMITTING ATTENDING BOSTON UNIVERSITY AND ALLOWING B.U. EXPUNGE ANY AND ALL EVIDENCE THAT SHE EVER ATTENDED THE SCHOOL.

WHEN CORTEZ WAS ASKED FOR COMMENT ABOUT THE STORY, THE UNITED STATES CONGRESSWOMAN, RESPONDED IN HER TYPICAL CRYPTIC FASHION,  "THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL LIKES TO TAKE A WALK IN THE PARK."

DEVELOPING…..

For those of you out there that have always marvelled at or even envied Hillary Clinton’s ability to lie her way out of scandal after scandal we have good news.  Now you can do it too.
PIcture being able to summon the ability to lie in all its forms including: deceiving, evading, exaggerating, distorting, deflecting, misinforming, misremembering, fibbing, misrepresenting, falsifying and equivocating?
Imagine that your back is to the wall with hostile interrogators like the FBI or DOJ wanting to know what happened or what you did or witnessed on certain dates or times.  Like any normal person faced with serious criminal charges hanging in the balance, you would be sweating bullets.
Practically none of us could ever duplicate Hillary’s uncanny ability to effectively prevaricate in any and all dicy situations, why, because it’s in her DNA.  But just because it’s in her genes doesn’t mean we can’t replicate her natural advantage whenever we want.  How you say?
Announcing the most revolutionary drug since the invention of penicillin.  Yes, now there’s the new miracle drug, Denyitall.  Denyitall capsules begin taking full effect in less than 30 seconds and you will that quickly be able to lie as well as any politician, yes, including Bill Clinton.
Denyitall can be a life saver in low stakes situations like being called into the principles office for failure to turn in your cell phone before class, to the knee knocking terror of being summoned by the IRS to appear before a grand jury.
There are possible harmful side effects to taking Denyitall such as spontaneous yodelling, sudden rejection by your dog, a desire to break out into Greek dancing, sudden and excessive ear hair growth, heart burn, nausea, uncontrollable facial muscle twitching, constipation lasting up to 90 days, left leg limping on Wednesdays, periodic urges to study the mating rituals of ancient Druids, walking backwards down flights of stairs, obsessing over which sun block strength to use in bright moonlight and being possessed by an urge to filet Pandas.
Immediately consult your doctor if taking Denyitall causes you to claim that your mother named you after the first human to set foot on Mars, insist that you once spent a summer taunting Taliban snipers to do their worst while lobbing pulled pork sandwiches at them.
Remember, when you need to make like Hillary Clinton, and dodge truth telling at all costs, only Denyitall will do.   Denyitall is also available for children in liquid form in both grape and cherry flavours.
Ask your doctor today if taking Denyitall is the right thing for you.

​

It is hard to think about UC Berkeley without associating it with protests and riots.  In fact, I was surprised to learn that UC Berkeley is an institution of higher education.  I thought the name stood for, "You See Berkeley rioting?"  The mere fact that anyone graduates, from Berkeley, is a minor miracle because I don't know when the students have time to study.  I mean proper rioting takes a lot of practice and energy. 

When thinking of many universities n the United States it is easy to associate them with engineering, law, medicine, marine biology, aero space or mathematics.  Not Berkeley, the violence can be so common at times; it could be considered a law enforcement no go zone.  Running with the Bulls in Pamplona would be much safer than walking through campus with a Men For Trump lapel pin.  First responders should take their time until the protesters are tear gassed, tasered or safely incarcerated. In fact, that campus can be so dangerous, that it could be the final test for Navy Seals graduation.  The perimeter of the campus should be designed like a maximum security prison complete with ornery guards and sniper towers.


And this behavior by Berkeley students is not new.  Beginning in the 1960's the campus became enraged over issues such as the Viet Nam War to defying the travel ban to Cuba and from IHOP hiring practices to the absence of Clark Bars in the Student Union vending machines.   In all reality, the Berkeley students never saw a cause unworthy of protesting, unless it was something to do with the principles, values, and virtues of our founding fathers and framers ( aka slave owners).
Was there any sign of patriotism to be found?  Yes, if you consider the burning and desecrating the American flag such a display.  It would have been far safer for Ted "Unabomber" Kazinsky, to walk across the campus carrying a suspicious package than some poor ROTC student.  The hypocrisy of the  "freedom fighters" would have been humorous if it had not been so often violent.  The same students that were destroying property, blocking traffic and scaring the daylights out of anybody commuting to work were often the same time declaring slogans such as "Kiss, don't hit" or the worn out  "Make love not war."
I don't know who raised those two face barbarians, but they probably would have been better off raised by wolves.
And the parents of these spoiled tantrum throwers are not the only ones to blame, not in the least.  Up until the present day, the administration, facility, campus security and even the local police departments are either afraid to intervene and restore order or instructed to stand down and watch the chaos escalate.  Now I am very aware that not all the trouble was caused by Berkeley students.  There were certainly some outsiders who believed in the current Mayor of Chicago, Rahm Emanuel's famous words, "Never let a crisis go to waste."
Now one of the worst enablers has been the UC Berkeley alumni.  I mean what are these people thinking when writing checks to fatten the endowment?  And they have been writing the checks very generously to a tune of approximately $3 billion.  If I saw my alma mater wreaking havoc on the campus surrounding neighborhoods, I'd cut them off.  I'd even organize a donor protest until our demands were made to stop allowing the inmates to run the asylum.  Cutting off donations would get the administration's attention better than anything else.  But why would the alumni do that when they probably acted out in a way that made the current students look as disciplined as Swiss Guards or rank amateurs.
What a year it's been in the wild, wild west that is U.C. Berkeley.  So far in this calendar year, there have been several violent protests including February 1, March 4, April 15, April 27 and the most recent on August 27.
Berkeley rioting has been in rare form in 2017, beginning last February when the student/mob decided to stop conservative speaker Milo Yiannopoulos from a speaking engagement on campus.
The "students" caused over $100 thousand in damage to property.  The reaction from the administration was priceless. They claimed that 150 masked agitators caused the ruckus and those 150 had nothing to do with the student body.  Huh?  And they knew that just how?  Were they wearing "We're not students" tee shirts, or when asked, they couldn't recite the school fight song?  No Berkeley riot would be complete without the obligatory assault on the police who tried to restore order.
All they faced were a bombardment of commercial grade fireworks and a flurry of Molotov cocktails that would have warmed the heart of Vladimir Lenin.
And I'm sure that the alums must have been bursting with pride when, last April, a Free Speech rally held by conservatives was broken up by leftist protesters that apparently only felt that only liberals have first amendment rights.  As soon as the counter protesters arrived, fists began flying, and the protesters and counter protesters alike were oozing blood.  The cops only arrested 21 in that fracas (probably because they ran out of handcuffs), but the police confiscated an assortment of weapons such as bats, knives, and soda cans filled with weights to use as projectiles.
But also scheduled in April, was what could have been the granddaddy of all protests.   A "Say No To Marxism" rally had been planned and would have resembled a Christians versus lions, tigers, and bears (oh my) but thankfully never happened.  Why?  They canceled the march due to security risks to the anti-Marx protesters.  So much for free speech.
What to do about these dangerous, tantrum throwing collegians, here's an idea.  Starting today, adopt a zero tolerance policy for any acts of violence or destruction of public or private property.  The punishment would include a "one strike, and you're out"  automatic expulsion and vigorous prosecution for destruction of property and assault and battery.  And another question, how did these delinquents matriculate to Berkeley in the first place?  Who screened them, Kim Jung-un?
Also, I'd  enlist the aid of  Dominican and Franciscan nuns as the faculty.  They will be free to have ill mannered students kneel on pointers, be paddled, have their hair pulled and slapped across the face.  And second, to set a new tone from day one in freshmen orientation, the local police should put on display on the campus quad, how they'll use ill tempered police dogs, water cannons, tasers, flash grenades, tear gas and of course rubber bullets.  And finally, if all else fails, place a dunk tank in the middle of the quad and fill it with warm glue, blue jay feathers, and whatever animal excrement that is readily available.
I know that there are those that would hesitate to use these somewhat draconian methods, but desperate times call for desperate measures.  Something must be done and soon,  or else someday, a Berkeley alum will be called a Stalin Grad.

The left has long had some kooky ideas. We’ve seen Play-Doh parties for grownups and soap bottles made to look like pear-shaped women. Their latest act of silliness? Some leftist hipsters in Brooklyn are marketing an Elizabeth Warren action figure. For realsies…
If you envision likely 2020 presidential candidate Sen. Elizabeth "Liawatha" Warren as a “defiant hero” fist-pumping for women and progressive power, then there is a Kickstarter campaign for you.
FCTRY, a Brooklyn-based design center, tells Secrets that they are using a Warren doll to raise money for her 2018 Senate reelection campaign via Kickstarter effort that begins June 6.
“On June 6th, we’re excited to be launching a new Kickstarter campaign for the Elizabeth Warren action figure,” Jason Feinberg, the CEO and creative director of FCTRY. he added, “Our mini-Warren is in full defiant hero mode, with an empowered fist raised in the air.”
What the heck, guys? There’s no tomahawk for cutting Republicans, Indian feather hat or Trump’s combover-ed scalp to be found. Do you even action figure, bro?

Sorry guys, but this toy is a dud. All I’m looking at is an elderly communist with aryan features in a pantsuit. That’s not to say there isn’t an excellent product hiding in there somewhere. Allow me to give you my concept for the ultimate Fauxcahontas action figure. Here goes nothing…
“They tried to brush her off. They tried to keep her down. Nevertheless, she persisted. Look out girls and non-binary genderqueers. It’s a bird…It’s a plane…It’s Elizabeth Warren! That’s right comrades. Every leftist’s favorite money-grabbing race fraud can now be yours in action figure form! She comes complete with tax-raising action, a buckskin pantsuit, and the bloodied scalps of Senate Republicans hanging from her neck. Push the button on her arrow quiver and she’ll shrilly scold you for not paying your fair share. It’s the hottest thing since Sharia Barbie. Do your part to combat the scourge that is American capitalism and buy it now!”
On a serious note, you know there’s desperation afoot when leftists are resorting to capitalism to push a socialist candidate.

Leftists, if your goal is to win elections, making sure your ideas are tip-top is the most important thing. Not immortalizing your faux-Indian princess in plastic for future lesbian feminist tykes to play with. Thanks to your boy Obama, people have gotten wise to the fact that Socialist policies don’t work. No matter how “democratic” such policies are. So perhaps ditch the hammer and sickle and you might hold on to a seat or two. You’re welcome.

Tomahawk Sold Separately…

COREY STALLINGS FRIDAY JUNE 2 2017

Why is it that liberals lie, even when their canards are easily exposed?  It's their nature, and they know that the media will cover for them.

Barack Obama's most famous lie was about his health care plan, the ACA.  He shamelessly repeated that if you like your doctor, you could keep him, if you liked your plan you could keep it and you would save $2,500 per year.  See the attached video as proof.  But the lies were blatant and harmful.  Here are five easily provable falsehoods.

1)  Obama Care was supposed to cover everyone. The truth, in 2017, the Obama Care exchange, enrolled only ten million people, So since its enacting, only 16.5 million Americans are enrolled.  That's only  5% of the US population.

2) Repealing the ACA will leave 22 million Americans uninsured.  The facts are that currently, 28.5 million Americans are uninsured NOW, under Obama Care!!!.  Forbes estimates that only 5 million would be uninsured under the GOP plan.

3) Obama Care would provide at least 130,000 new jobs..  But the truth is that it has killed over 10,000 small businesses (20-99 employees) and destroyed 250,000 to 300,000 jobs in the process., costing our economy over $50 billion.

4) Repealing Obama Care, according to Bernie "Santa Claus" Sanders, means that "28,000  Americans every single year could die!  That's nine times more than were killed on 9/11, every single year!", --Bernie Sanders, 7/9/17.
The facts are much different.  Under Obama Care, the US death rate has surged to over 20,000 deaths annually.

5) Final big lie.   Obama Care is bending the health care cost downward.  Nancy "You have to pass the bill to find out what's in it" Pelosi, claimed that "Health care costs have risen at the slowest rate in 50 years."  Huh?   In fact, Obama Care has bent the costs precipitously upward, over 36% since it became law. in 2010. The cost of a basic family plan has skyrocketed over 49%.  But that won't hurt Pelosi because she made sure that it did not apply to the Democratic Congress, which rammed it through with no time for anybody to read it, and slipped it through on Christmas Eve where it would receive no media coverage.

Whether you like Obama Care or not, the fact is that he and his party blatantly lied to you.  So why believe him about scandals involving the IRS, Fast & Furious, Benghazi and numerous others?  WHY?